Nearly three years have passed since I put away my first wedding shower gift. When we dropped off the gifts at my soon-to-be-house after our wedding shower, I wanted to put at least one kitchen item in its place before I returned home. Things in their place are balm to my soul.

I chose the silverware. Sparkling, smooth and the perfect weight in your hand, I undid all the packaging, and knives, spoons, and forks slid into their slots: sparkling, smooth, brand new.

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That’s how awaiting marriage felt: sparkling and brand new.  A boarding pass in hand to a new place I had never been, but was sure to enjoy.

Newness indeed abounded after the wedding. New house, new job, new church, new friends, new family. Excitement in beginning a new chapter together. Joy in being one instead of two. Even mundane tasks like putting away dishes inspired Christmas-day emotions. To a kid, even a commonplace gift can result in raptures of joy.

It’s fun when everything’s new, when you’re cutting off tags and peeling off stickers every time you cook a meal. There’s much to be enjoyed about that season, as you begin to explore this unsettled land called marriage.


Three years have passed and now my spoons are mottled from the copious amounts of hot tea that I drink since I don’t rinse my mugs right away (much to the chagrin of my husband). I’ve probably lost a fork in the garbage due to a distracted moment. Spotless baking sheets are marred with the footprints of countless batches of cookies and crescent rolls. Our fluffy bath towels are a little worn, the gift cards are long spent, and a few dishes have been broken.

Am I sad over the slight wear of these familiar household items, the loss of “brand-new-ness”? Not in the least. For it signifies something priceless.


It takes time for meat to marinate, wine to age, and for marriage to deepen in flavors. Time brings richness, deepness, and comfort that the beginning simply can’t offer.

Richness like a buttery steak seared and seasoned to perfection.

Deepness like melting into your favorite chair after a strenuous day, the cushions cradling your tired back.

Comfort like a leather jacket heading into another winter, with a little more give in the elbows and shoulders than the year before.


Three years is no marathon to be sure. We’re still newbies. But we’re not newlyweds either.

I love the richness, deepness and comfort that year three has brought. Between this year and last year, our marriage has been challenged with several unanswered prayers.  Unanswered prayers that cut to the quick of our souls.

But our year has also been seasoned with encouraging words, silly jokes, laughter, snuggling, and lots of good memories. We’ve needed that deep, clear cistern to draw from to stay hopeful and to keep moving forward.

New silverware. Time-softened chairs. No matter what season our marriage is in, I choose to find joy.

Year four, here we come.


Kurtis shares his thoughts on our anniversary here.

To read about year two, click here.

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