One of the blessings (yes, blessings) that has come through this painful fertility journey is deepened relationships with friends, especially those who are walking a similar journey into the unknown of fertility struggles.
One of those friends that I am so grateful for is Diana. Diana and her husband are walking their own fertility journey and through the past few years, Diana has been my go-to gal, the gal who, if she asks me how I’m doing, I can say “I’m not OK,” and she’ll nod knowingly. No other words are needed.
Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself… – C.S. Lewis
Diana was kind enough to share a few thoughts of her own on this journey. As adults, we may not be scared about monsters hiding under our beds, but the “unknowns” of the future lurking in the shadows can make us catch our breath all the same.
Afraid of the unknown
Worrying can come from the “what if” statements or thoughts we dwell on: “What if my car breaks down?” “What if I lose my job?” “What if my house gets broken into?” Most of these statements and thoughts are legitimate and realistic circumstances that could really happen, so we have the right to worry about them, right? No!
The Bible clearly states, “Therefore, don’t worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” All after describing how God has taken care of you, and the birds, and the lilies. And it’s true! No matter where you are, what you’ve done, and where you’ve been, God has always been there with you.
All of the hard circumstances that we’ve been in have helped shape the people we are today, whether we have already been through them or are still experiencing hard times. In fact, God promises that we will experience hard times and tribulations in this life (John 16:33). Trouble, trials, hard times, tribulations, and yes, the unknown, are all apart of living in a fallen world.
A time for everything, even the unknowns
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 describes a time for everything. This is my grandmother’s favorite verse, probably because she has lived life and seen that all of these things that Ecclesiastes lists have happened in life. There is a time in our life for all of these emotions, actions, and reactions. BUT through all of these circumstances we must remain faithful to our Lord (John 15:4, John 15:9) and we must find joy in those circumstances (James 1:2).
“Joy?” you say. “Girl, do you know what I’ve been through?” No…I don’t, but God does, and even if you think you are in the most miserable situation in life you could possibly be in, do you know how long you will be there?
Do you know how much longer you will be at your miserable job? Live on the tightest budget ever? Wait on becoming parents? Struggle with disease? The truth is, we don’t know.
Why be bitter?
In most cases, if you are struggling with these or any tough life situation you do not know how much longer you will have to go through this life situation you are in. So how long are you stubbornly going to remain bitter and upset and mad at life? A month, a year, three years, six years? And while we are talking about time….God doesn’t promise us tomorrow. So you could very well die as a bitter person, if you never choose to look for the joy in life.
Usually this is hard to start, but once you do start looking for the joy in life it’s hard to stop!
The things you overlook on a day to day basis are blessings that are passing you by if you choose to only focus on the bad parts of life. Even though we are unsure of the unknown we should remain faithful that God has a plan (Jeremiah 29:11) and find joy in all circumstances.
I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts. Its easy to talk oneself into a decision that has no permanence – easier sometimes than to wait patiently. – Elisabeth Elliot