So let’s start at the very beginning (of the decade). I turned twenty in 2010.
If I could sum up that year in one word it would be transition.
1a : passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another: CHANGE
b : a movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another
Two of the biggest transitions were school and church changes. I transferred from Rose State to UCO to finish up my communications degree and our family put down roots at Cornerstone Church after a three-year period of church upheaval. Also after years of unknowns, my dad moved to his current job.
That year marked leaving my teens behind and entering adulthood…and all the little victories and growing pains that go along with such a change. Things that used to be fixtures in my life were in flux. For instance, it was the first year since 1997 that I wasn’t regularly involved at the dance studio that I had grown up at, as I wanted to take the year to attend as many of my brother’s senior year basketball games that I could. My friend group was shaken and stirred and I learned tough friendship lessons that year as God moved people out of, but also into my life.
As if to underscore this feeling of transition, that year’s entries spanned three journals instead of my customary one. Please take in stride the slight drama of my young adult journals (shoulder shrug emoji).
Thursday, April 8, 2010
“I feel your hand laid against me (in a good way) telling me to go slowly, ease up, tread water. I’m in limbo, I am detached and have no desire to be otherwise for a while. Let me coast —in You— for a few more weeks.”
As my stages, circumstances, and friends were changing constantly, God proved in a new way to be the Constant One. (Michelle Tumes, anyone?) Precious, precious hours were spent with him that year as we looked at my life together as teacher and student, father and child.
Yet when I look back through those entries where I felt searching, detached, in limbo, several cornerstone prayers and goals of my life were etched on paper, some for the very first time.
In May 2010, I wrote that I wanted to write a book of devotions for girls, a goal I did reach six years after that point with the first Bloom book.
I was single at the time and my prayers for my husband and desire to honor God with my life took on a deeper and more poignant tone. Little did I know that prayer was a little over a year away from being answered.
There were several entries that were later turned into blog posts and other material that I’ve used for freelance projects. Words that just needing a little aging in between the covers of my journal.
Through all of these transitions, my confidence and trust in the Lord were growing as I saw him meet bigger and bigger needs.
Monday, May 17, 2010
“Oh, what do these next days hold?
Chances to be still or chances to be bold?
Will it be a chance for something to end, or a chance to begin that appears in my next hand?
I wait, I wait to be bold in the stillness and to begin again.”
Those transitions at age 20 felt monumental (and in some respects they were) but really, I was just building muscles to face even bigger transitions in the years to come. While I laugh now about my entries on scholarship applications, talking to guys, and my school plans, they were stepping stones toward a deeper trust in God’s sovereignty.
For those who are entering your twenties, be prepared for those seasons of transition because if you aren’t already in such a season, you will be soon. Instead of focusing on dotting every “i” and crossing every “t,” look with fresh eyes on what God is revealing about himself to you through the ebbs and flows of friends, work, school, and family. Pay attention to themes that he is highlighting in the verses you read, sermons you hear, and the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit who speaks to you in the corners of your heart.
Through all the periods of transition, He is the constant one, worthy of our trust.
Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life. (Psalm 54:4)